Here we are...Just finished teaching Saturday morning zoom class. It's a new experience for me and I'm learning as I go along. I don't really know what will happen from moment to moment beyond the fact that I am teaching and hope the students are engaging. More times than I wish students devices lose sound (like this morning we got an alert that kicked some students out of the class:) bummer guys! The past few weeks I have been trying to keep it all going smoothly and riding the roller coaster of how I could create a good experience for everyone. Of course I want that and in the process I have realized that I only have so much control over what happens. Whether it's in a zoom class or in life in general I know that I feel more centered and grounded when I allow the things that I don't have control over to just be. Wanting to make sure everyone is ok has been a recurring theme for me in life. It started at a young age just wanting the members of my family to get along and be happy. If I could make sure everyone was ok then I would be ok. It was a way that I could create a sense of safety and a more stable environment for myself. Probably a normal reaction for a little kid. As an adult I have realized that security doesn't come from controlling or holding onto things. When I am continuously working to control a situation or hold onto an idea or a personal possession I am pulled away from the one thing that gives me all that I need, my center. This separation from my center creates fragmentation within my being. I lose sight of why I am really here and what it is that I need to be doing. The indecision that comes from self doubt puts me in a constant state of instability. When I step back from my holding I can see that the emotional charge I get from this false sense of security or happiness only lasts a short time and then the roller coaster takes off again. I have experienced one actual roller coaster (not metaphorically) in my life. It was in my 20's and I made it through the ride by screaming my head off. It was exhausting and it was then that I knew this ride was not for me. I haven't been on one since. Feeling lost or scared is only eased when we finally do find our way back home. The aim of yoga is to find home. We hold onto that which is not ours to hold because we are afraid. Fear is a powerful human emotion that only leads us farther into the wilderness. It originates from grabbing hold of a thought or belief that we are alone and as long as we choose to hold on to that thought we stay on the roller coaster and we are in for a ride. The foundation of yoga is made up of eight limbs. The first four are yama's (restraints of a spiritual life), niyamas (practices we are to observe and cultivate), asana (pose) and pranayama (breath). Aparigraha is the fifth of the five yamas and it means non-attachment or letting go. If holding onto things seems to bring us happiness then this yama might imply that we are not meant to enjoy or experience life. In truth it means to recognize the fears that are at the root of our holding and let them go. We will most likely find more enjoyment out of life when we do let go. I read a quote this morning by General Barry McCaffry "Do not take counsel of your fears." We may acknowledge our fears, offer our deep love and compassion to that part of our being and then let the fear go. In the process we come back to our breath, to the place of presence and peace - our center, and it is from this place that we can take purposeful action. Life is teaching me that a good path is available to each one of us. Inspired by Meditations on the Mat - If we were to write down everything we want in life, let's say a few years from now, and if we were to focus on our spiritual practice, I think we would find in a few years that we would have sold ourselves short, because truthfully, what the Universe - God - Divine has instore for us is far more beautiful than what we can imagine for ourselves.
"Fear is the cheapest room in the house, I'd like to see you in better living conditions” ~ Anonymous.
Below is the LINK for this morning's zoom class (the full recording). Enjoy! If you would like to do some work with me around finding your center through yoga and breath please reach out to me. I am offering a sliding scale from $55 - $85 for a 1 hr. 15 min. session. You pay what you can afford. I would love to meet with you in a private session or small group via zoom, google hangout, facetime or any other virtual platform that you prefer.
"If we know anything about a path at all, it's only because of the Great ones that have gone before us. Out of their love and kindness, they have left some footprints for us to follow. So, in the same way that they wish for us, we wish that all beings everywhere, including ourselves, to be safe, be happy, have good health, and enough to eat. And may we all live at ease of heart with whatever comes to us in life." ~Krishna Das
Saturday Morning Yoga on Zoom
My spiritual name is Sivakami, which means... one who desires transformation and one who transforms desires. I live in Rifle, Colorado where I teach yoga, create art and love life. I would love to hear your comments.