Who am I really? Am I really this person that goes about doing
what I do in each given day? I teach yoga, I make pottery, I hike, bike etc.
But who am I really?
I ask myself this question often. There
is a longing inside of me to know this true Self that lives
inside of me. When I say the true Self something inside of me expands with hope.
At times I have felt that this true Self must be that person that I am
underneath the walls, the veils that I have built up
over time to protect myself.
The true Self is much deeper than my identity.
The true Self is much deeper than I.
I will need to go into the deepest
part of myself, to the core. Where I feel this
burning inside of me that starts in
my chest. There is a picture of Hanuman,
where he is tearing open his chest
with both hands to reveal what is inside. I
feel he is saying show me your
heart; open up to the real you that you long to
be. Reveal your true Self. How do
we come to this place where we are able to
reveal who we really are and how
do we reveal ourselves when we don't really
know who we are? It’s funny
really if you think about it, like we are chasing our tail going in circles
chasing after what we want trying to become someone who we do not know.
Truly we will not find this true Self if we are looking outside of ourselves.
Anything outside of you will only add another layer that we will
need to unpeel later when you really get serious about this Self-discovery. What
if we stop adding layers and start uncovering who we really are. I know that
that can definitely bring up some fear, it sure has for me. What if people don't
like the real me? What if they think I'm weird? Gosh I feel so completely
vulnerable when I let down the guard and let others in. I am so afraid that
I will get rejected or cut down. If I am looking for others approval it's
not really going to work. I need to look for my true Self knowing
that what I will find is enough. The light that I will
meet is the entire acceptance that I need. That light and I are one in the same and
when I come into the light and be seen then I will
know that in the light is love.
This love will sustain me, hold me and in this
love I am me, the true Self is revealed. Welcome home my love.
My spiritual name is Sivakami, which means... one who desires transformation and one who transforms desires. I live in Rifle, Colorado where I teach yoga, create art and love life. I would love to hear your comments.